Memory

Ever wonder what would happen if you forgot your past?  If it was all gone. 

You can’t remember your first girlfriend. You can’t remember those huge high school events. All those college parties are gone. It’s blank.  

You then have to rely on people who remember stuff but the private stuff will never return. The first time you went through the million steps of relation with people you are attracted to.  

I do read the past posts, remember posting them and it makes me sad. Why you ask?  Well, I know that many things with women have happened that I don’t remember. How?

A friend told me they did. It’s not the same though because it’s a memory with no attachment so, for me, I feel like it never happened. I feel like no one has ever done so much. For example, I really want someone to send dirty thoughts about me. To take a naughty picture of themselves for me.  To simply say they thought about me all day and missed me.

Stupid stuff but I don’t have any emotional attachment to all the stuff from the past.  It’s not all bad. I used to be such a dick at times I guess and I’m a lot nicer today. 

12 minutes. 12 minutes erased the past.  I wonder so often if I had taken those medications if that seizure wouldn’t have happened or was it destiny.  I hurt everyday because of it but I became a nicer guy.   I think I am only good at my job because of those changes which is good but I worry more than I did before I guess.